Friday, November 25, 2011

Thanksgiving 2011

i set the table
i cooked the turkey
the sweet potatoes
the stuffing
2 kinds even
cornbread
and
white bread
bought
then updated
mashed potatoes
brussel sprouts
green beans
and rolls
had lots of types of rolls
and pies
4 kinds
with Cool Whip
i love cool whip

everyone came over
casual as always
because
it is the spirit
just being together

after everyone
filled their plates
my beloved husband
said some words
he laughed
when he saw my paper
because
i can't speak
off the top of my head
without preparation
i need to think first

so here goes-
this is what i said


Being Thankful

I like to start this off by saying how thankful I am for everything
But I won’t feel like I have been honest if I also don’t recognize a huge loss in our life

When we lost our sweet 17 year old friend, it rocked our family to the core, she had been a part of all our lives for about 10 years-I guess you can say that we took her laughter, smile and abundant energy for granted, because she was always around.

So, instead, I will say that we are so thankful that we were lucky enough to be part of her short life, her smile always shone so bright, that we are thankful we got to experience it.  We are thankful that we can help honor her by always being kind to animals, speaking up for those that don’t speak up for themselves, by being mindful in the moment, and live  for her, because she always wanted everyone to live for those who can’t.

I am very thankful today that we have all 4 of our grandparents with us.  They are all healthy and I thank god every day for that and their constant guidance.  They are our inspirations and mentors.  We learn from you and are so thankful you are here for us and the grandchildren.  We know that our kids are so lucky to have you each and every day.  Because even though they don’t see you every day, they speak of you with kindness and awe always.

Of course, it should have been the first thing I said, but I am so thankful for my husband.  Jeff is there for me, supporting me, being strong when I am weak and keeping me centered. His support and love help guide me daily, without him I would definitely fail, You are my partner and I love you, Thank you for being you

 My children, my 3 girls---I am so thankful Karen is home with us this short week.  And I am also thankful she is growing and learning about herself as she also learns about the world while away at college.  As hard as it is for me when she goes back, I am thankful for this opportunity. 
I am so very thankful that Bethany has found her way at Hillcrest.  Last year at this time, she was still new there and meeting new people.  Now, she is a permanent fixture, she is responsible and commands respect.  She is one of the cream of the crop, as her cheerleader sponsor says, and has the consequences to prove it.
I am so thankful that Lucy has taken Hillcrest by storm.  Never one to show her anxiety, Lucy walked into school that first day barely knowing a soul, now she is rarely home or has 5 girls over here laughing and creating energy with all her new friends. She feels smart again and continues her relationships with friends from all over the city.

I am grateful for cousins, aunts and uncles who are here, you make our home special every time you visit.

I am also grateful to God, who showers us with gifts: mystery, beauty, ideas, art, music, literature, language, nature, humor, family, friends, and love. I feel I am blessed to be able to give thanks for all my uncountable blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Honoring others and myself

it is that time of the year
as our invitation
always states
after 10 years
of the same party
i just can't bring myself to change the
words of the invitation
because i feel
i worded it so beautifully
the first time

honoring friends
and family
by thanking them
for being a part of our life

appreciating others
i like to do that
because
i like to be appreciated

i know that not everyone
wants to same types
of appreciation
or honor
but
since that is what i like
i tend to give it out too

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

More Time

i keep thinking it is a dream
really a nightmare
how can a child
be gone

the days go by
the nights go by
and the mornings come
and i wonder
is it really true

too much sorrow
i wish it wasn't true

some of my other friends
ask about my friends
who lost their daughter
"how are they"
they naively ask
i almost want to answer
"how can they be"
their child is gone
they will never get to see her again
touch her again
kiss her again
"how would you be"

i know they mean well
but there are no words
there are no answers
there is not a wrong way
or a right way
to behave
to grieve
to believe

i visit her grave
that sweet plot
full of flowers
notes
arizona tea bottles
pinwheels
rocks
pumpkins
sweet reminders
of a lost life
of a sweet girl
who touched so many people