Saturday, June 25, 2011

friends on the same path

it saddens me
that lately
I hear of more friends who have to go down this same path
that our family has taken with mental health

what has become of our world
our society
our schools
our families
that so many children
need a break
to help themselves find themselves

so many kids
are on the wrong path
because of
the pressure
the anxiety
the worry
the expectations
of society, schools and families

I hate that these people have to experience
what we did
I hate that there is not one answer
because there isn't
every child
every parent
needs their own time
and their own schedule

some people have asked me
if we had gotten our daughter
help earlier
would it have been different

I don't think so
when she went
even though she didn't know it at the time
she knew something was wrong
and she needed help
before that
she never had remorse
she didn't care
she felt she was owed something

she thought the world was treating her unfairly
that everyone else was causing stuff to happen to her
until she could see that she was causing the scenarios
to happen
she could never get the point that she needed to be
to start to get help

for all my friends
and another other person having to go on this path
I wish for us and them
that there is always a better tomorrow

Sunday, June 19, 2011

childless couple

our kids are gone
for 10 days we are alone

when was the last time it was this quiet
no complaining
no noise
no mess
since 2 are out of the country
and 1 is at camp
they really can't call that often
so we are alone
in our house
for the first time
for this long

some summers
we have gone out of town
but this summer
we decided to stay home
what a great decision
we made

we will eat dinner out
we will eat dinner at home
we will go out to movies
we will watch movies at home

we can do whatever WE want
what a concept
we can sleep in
we can wake up early

we can cook
ha ha ha ha
i make myself laugh

the best part is
we can pick what to do
and do it together

this is a treat
I don't think I can do it all the time
I miss my babies
so does my husband
but it is fun
for 10 days

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Camp, same place, only the faces change

driving down 35
i see the sign
the marker
exit 318
3 chai
it never changes
I pull off
to the right
because I am always
driving from the north
whether I was in high school
or married with kids
the north of Waco

exit 318
I pass a gas station
that used to serve gas
I pass a railroad track
that I think
still has a train
I pass the post office
that has long since closed its doors

the houses
on the way
on the drive
stay the same
or change color
we name them
my girls and I do
the dome house
the beehive house
the yellow house
or the house
that used to be pretty
we drive down that road
and our hearts flutter
we know that we are near

the gates
real gates
an electronic gate
with beautiful lettering
spelling out the name of the camp
Greene Family Camp
not the old metal gate
that was ages ago

there are some parts
that are the same
the cabins
the moadon
the courtyard
the lower courtyard

it is actually prettier
even though
camp is not about the beauty
of the buildings
it is about the beauty
of the people

there is a new sports complex
a new office building
a new dining hall
tennis courts
art room
and infirmary

i drive in
and still think about
the lower pool
the portables
the old staff cabin
that was just one little room

a lot has changed
all for the good

but then
we dress for shabbat
and everyone comes in
the dining hall
wearing white
the songs are being sung
the smiles are brilliant
and there
in front of me
if I squint
it is all the same
only the faces have changed
that is the best feeling of all