Showing posts with label winston. Show all posts
Showing posts with label winston. Show all posts

Friday, May 27, 2011

My daughter the Valedictorian

Finally
after 8 years of wishing
my oldest daughter got THE phone call this past Monday
She had the highest grade point average in her class
so finally
she was officially the Valedictorian of the Winston School 2011

Here is the speech she wrote
She spoke so beautifully
of the support
and trying times she had experienced in recent years
 She received a standing ovation
she deserved it wholeheartedly
I was in awe of her truthfulness
I am very blessed

When I was in fourth grade, I learned they had an award for being the best at academics. So ever since, because I have always been a hard worker and studious, I’ve dreamed of becoming valedictorian. If anyone asked me why, it would be very hard to explain. It was something I dreamed about at my previous school, a very competitive private school that constantly filled me with stress. When I began to excel at Winston, it was something I hoped was finally possible. And when I missed the first six weeks of school during my junior year because I was at a residential treatment center, I hoped I had not messed up my chances. To me, valedictorian has always represented the achievement of overcoming the odds, which is why I am proud to stand before you today. I have overcome my difficulties, and without Winston, it would not have happened.
At my old school I did nothing but study, or cry that I needed to study. I came home and passed out on my bed fully clothed from all the stress. My parents pulled me out of that school, something I will always be thankful for. They sent me to The Winston School, which is right behind my house, and that I walk to each day. I’ve always thought that was pretty sweet.
I felt better at Winston, but not all the way. This is because I had more problems than my learning differences, dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADHD, which my peers have also. My main problem was my anxiety and depression, which could not be cured through a simple change in environment. My stress from the academics of school was lifted, because Winston’s atmosphere fit me a lot better. I loved that people were not asking me my grade on my last test every second, as this kind of competitiveness can get very taxing. The problem, though, was my anxiety and depression were causing me problems socially.  I had no friends. I did not even really start talking to people until the end of my 10th grade year. But when I did start to talk to people, I learned that our class is one great bunch of kids.
When I started to stretch my social muscles, our class of 2011 was always very inclusive. They are nice to everyone, and through this they taught me to be more social. I’ve learned how to approach people, and to not stay in the shadows. This is one of the reasons I will always love Winston.
Of course, it is not the only reason. Winston will always have my appreciation for how they helped me at the beginning of my junior year. I missed the first six weeks of school to go to a residential treatment center to work on my anxiety, depression, and anger. I was nervous about missing so much school, which I guess isn’t saying much considering that I have chronic anxiety, but it truly was driving me mad. Then, while I was at the treatment center, I got a card from Mr. Della Costa. This one card made me feel better. I was worried about teachers being mad at me about missing too much school work, but Mr. Della Costa’s card not only made me feel better about returning to band, but also about returning to school in general. Mr. D wished me well, told me how band was going, and said he would not start drum line until his student director returned. The last line said, “So hang in there and whenever you are ready to start band- come in!” And I did hang in there. I got out of the residential treatment center, as a much happier and calmer person, right before my birthday. I was back at school just in time for the second six weeks grading period, and everyone was very nice about my return.
My first day I walked in the school as if I was walking on broken glass, because I was scared to see anyone and hear what they were going to say. This worrying was unnecessary because the first person I saw welcomed me back and gave me a hug. People also knew not to ask me too many questions, which filled me with relief. My friends had even gotten a bunch of people to sign a welcome back poster for me. When I returned, my peers made me feel important. They helped me with my transition back to school.
Everyone at Winston understood that I was going through a hard time, and they were very accommodating. My teachers were understanding about the situation, and helped me get caught up in all my classes. I was very worried about the college process, and I thought my time at the residential center had ruined my chances of making it into a “good” college. Ms. Carlson, though, showed me that everything was fine and I still had the chance to go to any college I wanted. She also showed me that a good college is not defined as an Ivy League school, but the school that is right for me.
I felt sick a lot, so I would often go to Nurse Heck, who I met that year. She always helped me feel better, and she was always there to talk. Sometimes I would just talk to her for almost a whole class period, because she had the ability to calm me after any panic attack. I also had to leave school early, but the administrators and my classmates were always very understanding. Slowly, the Winston environment was helping me to grow.
The next year I was voted Homecoming Queen, and I must say I was probably the most surprised person at that football game. This had been voted on by my peers, and it showed how far I had come. Thanks to Winston I had friends, people thought I was kind, and I now had the confidence to stand in front of friends, family, even strangers.
This year, I have felt more confident and hopeful. Despite all the college and senior excitement, Winston allowed me to dedicate my time to Vogel Alcove, a childcare center for homeless children, two days a week during spring semester. I am sure my absences worried some, but to me they represent the first time I could emotionally put others ahead of my academics. This was an enormous step for me and thanks to everyone who allowed this to happen.
So I stand here today, as valedictorian. My goal was reached, but my feelings are different. I have worked not only on my learning differences, but also on my anxiety and depression, which I know some of my classmates have struggled with as well. I have made friends and grown as a person. To the Winston community, I will always be grateful. To my classmates, The Winston Class of 2011, if you guys can help someone like me, which all of you did in your own way, you can do anything. All of you are amazing people, who I know will go far in life. Also, speaking on behalf of the class, I would like to thank all the parents, siblings (in my case sisters) and extended family, because like my own family, you have helped make us become the successful adults we are today.
Congratulations Class of 2011, we are graduating today, having overcome one thing or another. Look back at your lives, and you will also see how far you have made it. We should all be proud of what we have accomplished.
Thank you!!!

Friday, October 15, 2010

And Homecoming Queen...

no way
no possible way
a year ago
at this time
we were all barely alive
we were still healing
from Karen's treatment center

we were happy to be together again
as a family

now
here we are
Karen is a senior
looking at colleges
she is happy
she has friends
she is enjoying school
and
it seems like
school is loving her

she was elected to be on the homecoming court
wow
she was surprised
i was surprised
we were all surprised
i laughed
the day i was at school helping out with something
the kids were voting on the court
freshman, sophomores, juniors and seniors
all voting for each grade
Karen voted for friends
i was sitting by her and some other seniors
i joked and said that someone should vote for her
so then she would have to wear a dress
when one friend voted
we all laughed

then last week
she came home
with a shocked look on her face
"guess who was voted to be on homecoming court"
she asked
NO
i replied
and she laughed

i got the make a little speech
that was to be read at the homecoming football game
it was funny

i went to school for the pep rally
the whole homecoming court
played musical chairs
it is a tradition i was told
ugh
memories of childhood games came flashing back
i forgot how competitive she is
she won
barely
by being so fast
and having a good sized bottom!

The night came
the football game
she had to play in the band
but
she also had to wear something nice
we settled on a skirt and top
she felt comfortable
she looked darling
she even let me take some pictures

when they all lined up
and parades in
here was the speech said about her-

Kareb came to the Winston School in 10th grade. She was instrumental in starting the band program with Mr Della Costa, and has been a percussionist for the last 6 years. She plays on the tennis team each spring.  She was inducted into the National Honor Society when she was a sophomore. She had lived behind Winston for 10 years before starting school, so now her daily commute is only a short walk.  Karen was honored when she was picked to represent the senior class in the homecoming court, also she was very surprised! She is very happy her family is here to celebrate with her. 

then everyone laughed
then everyone cheered
SHE WAS CROWNED AS HOMECOMING QUEEN

she laughs at me
because i have said i thought i heard voices
not that i didn't have trust in her
but 
we never thought she would really win
she was voted as queen by the entire upper school student body
never 
never in a million years
would that have happened anywhere else
her school is amazing
she is so confident
she is so honest
she is good 
she is fair
and she is a winner

we have all come a long way
and i am so happy
i can't believe it sometimes

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

New School Year

this year it is right
it is good
it is what is supposed to be

all 3 girls in the first day of school picture
although
Karen started the day before
Bethany & Lucy were starting today
and
their school starts earlier
but
before we left
Karen got out of bed
came downstairs
and took a picture with her sisters
she poked her head through
their heads
so she didn't have to change
but
I didn't care
all *I* cared about
was that
it was how
it should be

Last year at this time
I was so nervous
I didn't even want to take the picture
and I swore
when Karen returned home
we would take another one
and
I never did

sometimes
I get these pangs of guilt
that I didn't do the right thing
that I should have made a big deal
about something
and didn't
and then I feel
I was wrong
about decisions
and messed up one child
while helping another
that I want to cry
but I can't
I just keep going
hoping I make better decisions next time
and try to forget some of the bad ones

but
today
I feel good
I feel that all is good
3 girls
smiling
in the picture
of the first day of school

the last first day of school
as sisters
in the same house

okay
maybe I should start crying now

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Band Concert

When Karen switched schools
2 years ago
the one thing
that made her want to stay at
Greenhill
was Band

She started Percussion
in 6th grade
she tried out
and made it
her band director
was very supportive of her
she stayed with it
all through middle school
and then started high school
it was a positive in her life
and she enjoyed it
she could read music
it made her feel good

and almost every school
we seriously considered for her
did not have a band program

but the school change
was a necessity
and we couldn't worry about band

I tried to find
extra curricular percussion groups
outside of school
but
no luck

when she started at Winston
a new Dean of Students started too
somehow he told us he wanted to
start a middle school band
at the school
We told him about Karen's
history with band
so when he did begin
the program
he tapped her to help
she would get music credit
get to play as part of the band
and be an assistant teacher
he was happy
as was she

This year
there are two student bands
the one they started last year
and a new one this year
Karen is the student director of the new band
there are other High School students
who help out with the other band

Tonight
the school had a performing arts night
the choir
the dance group
and the band
played for the parents
grandparents
and anyone who wanted to see

I was beaming
my daughter
who for 2 months
was away this year
in a residential treatment center
was the star
of the show
she kept the beat
for all the band songs
even though
there were other high school students helping
it was her bells
or snare
or tambourine
that kept the other students in line
I stood up
thank goodness we were in the back
so I could see her face
her smile
her pride

I couldn't help
but shed a tear
and think how far we have come
from August
that horrible day in August
when she could not control herself
and here
in front of me
and her family
her friends
and people she didn't even know
she controlled herself
so well
and controlled the children
around her
to stay in tune and on beat
to sound
so beautifully together
that the applause
filled the arena
and she was the star
the bright and shining star

she did it
she should feel good
she has worked so hard
to be where she was today
she deserved all the accolades
she deserved to feel the pride
she deserved it all


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Full Days

My oldest has been having a hard time
at school again

we had to back off her days
she was so anxious
she couldn't make it through a whole day
her psychologist
talked to her
and decided
we needed to start from scratch again

I cried in her therapy
did we bring her home too early
should she have stayed longer
to feel more comfortable with herself
No
she reassured me
she was good there
and this would happen
whenever she left

she was anxious about the school she missed
there were still some classes
she was not caught up in
and she did not like
this unknown

so
back to the beginning
last week
first day
one class
second day
two classes
and
adding classes
as only she was comfortable doing

Gosh
we love her school
whatever we asked for
they did
the head of school
counselor
nurse
dean of students
whoever
was willing to work with us
to help ensure our daughter's
success back at school
I would pick her up
there was one day she had to walk home
because I was somehere
but they allowed it

But it worked
after the school counselor
ended up meeting with her
and most of her teachers
she felt better

The only problem left
was physics
and my husband ended up at that meeting
because I had to be at another meeting
for another child

as much as I try
I can't be in 2 places at once

When the science teacher
discovered she had not had biology yet
he just switched her schedule around
and my husband said
you could see the relief
instantly
in her eyes
her shoulders
and her attitude

So
she is back to full days of school
and she is feeling good about it

We listened
we worked it out with her
the teachers
and the school
and that is what is important

She feels better about herself
and her school
we couldn't ask for anything more

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Back to school

I was so nervous
for my little girl

I admit it
I sent messages
to her friends
on facebook
letting them know she would be coming back

the school hadn't told the kids
what had been going on

when Karen and I went to visit school
the friday before she went back
one kid looked at her
and said
"we thought you died"
it was
a little funny
so we laughed
but I knew
she was still nervous about going back

Since Karen's first day back to school
was the same day as Lucy's new schedule
my husband
and I
had to split up duties

I took the little one
and he took the big one
the middle one
took care of herself

The little one did well
she met her latin teacher
she was excited to see her
new schedule in print
and her friends were happy for her too

when I got home
I wanted to run over to Karen's school
I had emailed the teachers
the headmistress
the nurse
her advisor
IF IF IF
anything went wrong
I was just around the corner
I would pick her up

But my husband came home
about the same time as me
he said
at least 3 kids welcomed her back
the teachers were all happy to see her
he had not seen any
awkward conversations
whew
I thought
Some kids
even made a big poster
and signed it for her
to bring home

I waited by the phone
I didn't do much
expecting her not to make the whole day
but
she did
she came home
happy
so happy
laughing
telling stories on friends
really giggling
it was so good to see

she napped that day
and fell asleep early
then woke up so tired
just go half the day today
I told her
she barely made it to lunch
she had pushed herself too hard
that first day

the third day she slept late
had a doctor's appt
and went to school
in the afternoon

by thursday
she was "sad" again
uh oh
she thought all that
had been "fixed"
she was nervous about a couple of classes
she didn't want to go to school

I had her get up
we talked
we called her dad
and then we walked over to school
to speak with the counselor
he listened to her
and she cried
tears of relief
he was going to help her
I reminded her
she doesn't need to do anything alone
we are here to help her

she was used to group therapy
twice a day for 7 weeks
and now she thinks she can
just take care of it alone again
isn't that what caused all this in the first place?

she did start school late that day
and I told her I was around for her again

the next day
she made it
she woke up
she hesitated
she wanted to stay home
but she left
alone
to walk to school

I was exhausted
keeping her upbeat
but
seeing her smile
was all worth it