Wednesday, August 26, 2009

NO!

I don’t want to hear about
my daughter’s progress
from a stranger

I want to talk to her
I want to know she has a headache
I want to give her that advil

I want to hold her head
after she barfed
I am told
by these strangers
that
she is barfing every day

is it the food?
is it nerves?
is it the medicine?

is she sick?
is she dehydrated?
is she taking care of herself

I hate calling each night
to the nurse’s station
but we can only
talk to her
twice a week
the most she gets is 20 minutes
twice a week
for us
her sisters
her grandparents
both sets

we all care about her
we all want to know about her
we all love her
so much

we just wished she loved herself more
knew how special she is
felt good about herself
her body
her clothes
her hair

why can we see her beauty
but she can’t
why can the school see
her wonderful intelligence
but she can’t
why can the tennis coach
the soccer coach
the athletic director
see her sportsmanship
but her family can’t

why can she be so nice to strangers
and acquaintances
but not to her sisters
or me
or her daddy

we love her so much
but she hurts us

she gets hurt by others
or has been hurt by others
and holds her anger in
to take out on me
or her sisters
or her daddy

No
these strangers don’t understand her
the nurses
and doctors
and therapists
will never love her like I do

No
but can they help her
can they treat her
the way I have never been able to
before
can they understand her
like I do
can they find out the reason
can they help her find her way

I can only hope that these strangers
end up being her friends
and mine