Sunday, December 12, 2010

related?

i don't think we can be related
i really don't

i can't understand how we can look at life so differently
how we can't even have a basic understanding
of what is important
also
how clueless
someone can be about a situation
then expect me to feel blamed about it

why would it be my fault
that they don't understand crisis
or a stay in a mental institution is not a spa
that therapy sessions are not for fun
and nobody would pick that way to spend their time

that for 2 months we traveled miles and miles
to help our child
but because they didn't understand the severity
it was because i didn't stress it enough

no
it was because it didn't affect them personally
it should have
but
it didn't
and
since they didn't see it each day
it didn't mean anything to them
and if they didn't really listen to what i was saying
then it really couldn't be happening

no
it was not my fault they didn't listen
understand
or care
we are related
they should have bent over backwards
trying to help
other people did
friends did
other family members did
just not mine
they should have been there
they should have cared
they should have been interested enough
to ask more questions
or do more research
but
they chose not to
they chose to pick on me
upset me
and then be mad at me because i was emotional
not really realizing what was happening to our family
at the time

stupid
really stupid
and selfish
and limited
i just need to remember that
and
remind myself
that just because we are related
does not mean that they really understand