Steps forward

more steps forward
than backwards
and that is what is important

another weekend
another bat mitzvah

Karen went to the sabbath dinner
and I had not even
realized
until we were there
it was her first
big event
where it was not just family
or her friends at school
the first time
she was in a large group
at least
it was in a home
she felt comfortable

I stayed with her most of the time
she did well
some people tried to hug her
not her cup of tea
but she did well

on saturday night
when the rest of us
were at the bat mitzvah
service and party
Karen had a friend
spend the night
they went to dinner
then watched a movie

Bethany and Lucy
my husband and I
enjoyed seeing
the little girl do her torah service
we had watched her grow up
she was a little terror at 5
but now
just beautiful
honest and gracious
at 13
beam from the bima
we laughed
danced and enjoyed her party

one of my middlest's friends
thought I was drunk
but Bethany explained
"oh no
she always dances like that"
as long as I didn't embaress her
I guess is all that mattered

but
baby steps forward
for all of us

parties
sleepovers
friends
laughter
all the girls
laughed when we got home
my three
and one extra
one that I never knew
could be a part of our lives

the child that I still worry about
the one who I thought
would always be my shadow
had a friend spend the night

it had been a long time
since that happened
and it was all
a part
of the moving forward
process
that we are all
grateful for
and
so happy to see